A Soapbox Moment

THE POINT: I think that I need to start this crazy post with my point so that I am not misunderstood. My mom is great. She did her best and I think that the results show this. I am proud of my family but I do not consider us perfect or better than anybody else. We all have our faults. So take my extreme self-righteous bragging as a joke, please. And just in general, I think that as parents we do need to be courageous and stand  up for the right, be an example of choosing what is important, and teaching our kids clearly. Obviously, I don't know all the answers and don't assume my kids will always choose the right.

I have six brothers.
My oldest brother served a mission in Puerto Rico,
The next in Florida.
The next in Russia.
The next in Virginia.
The next is just about to finish in Brazil.
The last just left to go to Pennsylvania.
I am so proud of my brothers.
All faithfully fulfilling their charge to teach the gospel.
I am not posting this to brag
although a little bragging is in order right.
I have a dang righteous family.
Just Kidding.
Our Thanksgiving trip was also my brother's last weekend home.
We were there for his eagle court of honor (all six brothers are also eagles),
his farewell talk,
and his setting apart.
It was great.
I feel so privileged to be part of this family.

As any growing child, I wasn't always so impressed with my parent's parenting.
I would think "I am going to do this or that differently when I am a parent." Etc. Etc.
But, now I think "oh please please PLEASE let me do as good as them."
It isn't ALL up to the parents though.
I mean perfectly good parents still have children who do the craziest things.
Anyway, but any normal person would look at my parents and think:
"Man, they must be doing something right,
I mean look at all those awesome kids,
who have grown up to be pretty spectacular people!"
Right?
RIGHT?

But my mom was telling me over Thanksgiving that she feels
people think she has just made us do all these things
(like going on missions, getting married in temple, etc.).
Now I have to admit she is mildly controlling.
She is a strong person.
I mean you would have to be in order to marry a man
whose wife had just died
and raise her six kids
and then have three more.
No person in their right mind would fall on that grenade
on purpose.
So, yes she is a little over the top sometimes,
and we haven't always
shall we say clicked.
But really do you honestly think that she could MAKE us
choose the right.
Not that we always did or do.
CTR or else.
Through force.
I don't think so.
But she did teach us.
It was pretty clear what was right and wrong.
It was understood that church was not an optional thing.
We were expected to do well
and so we did
for the most part.
We went to every church meeting that ever existed ever.
We went to do every church assignment that needed to be done.
We went with my dad as he served the scariest craziest people.
(That in itself was lessons of what not to choose for your life.)
We went and we gained a testimony.
And then we did it some more.
Parenting is hard and I don't think that my parents or I certainly have all the answers
but this I know...
that things that are important to parents become important to kids.
Everything teaches.
Everything.
My parents didn't ever lecture me about going to church.
We just went.
Some people feel like getting homework done or going to their sport practice
is even more important than mutual.
What is that teaching the youth?
Church always trumped any other good thing we had.
It was the most important.
Is every activity at church the most fulfilling, most spiritually enlightning?
Of course not but how are you going to know when your kid might finally get it.
It might be when least expected.

And if the priesthood is told by a prophet that they are to serve missions.
Then that is the right and important thing to do.
As a parent I think that must be said clearly to any child considering a mission.
Obviously they make their own choice.
But as a parent I would never say, "well do whatever you want".
That could be interpreted to mean, "it doesn't really matter one way or the other."
And it does matter.
I would say it is your responsibility and I would tell them that they need to
pray, fast, and study to find their answer.

Is that too harsh?
Do I just not know what I am talking about?
Yes, it would be terrifying and heartbreaking for a child
to not choose the right which is their choice to make
but as parents we are responsible for making that choice between
right and wrong clear.
In conference one of the talks was about being courageous parents.
I hope that is what I can be.
Eli was rebuked for letting his sons defile sacred things.
It was the parent being rebuked not the sons.
Because he didn't do his job teaching them or stopping them.
Parents throughout the scriptures are chastised.
Thus we should look at those examples as indicators
of our duty to train up a child in the way they should go.
Thanks be for repentance also.
Everybody must learn their lessons, some must learn the hard way.
And yes, I do know that, even our Heavenly Father
the most perfect of perfect parents
still had children whom he had taught and loved
that fell away from the straight and narrow path.
It is possible to do everything right and for children to go their own way.
That is God's plan.
We must choose for ourselves.
But as for me and my house we will choose the Lord.
I hope.

Please do not take this post the wrong way.
I will step off the soap box now.
Lets still be friends.